Silence is over


I popped 2 more anti anxiety pills and I’m hoping they kick in soon. I dropped my son off at his Spring Break camp this morning and he didn’t want to go. He pleaded with me. He cried. I felt like such an asshole. 

The books I’m reading are big on positive affirmations and giving yourself permission to feel your feelings but in the tradition of mindfulness, to let them pass while simply observing them. I’m really trying. 

Anxiety keeps bubbling up. My heart starts pounding. I can’t concentrate. My hands get sweaty and shaky. Then my thoughts start racing and I’m rendered useless. I really can’t afford this on a work day. 

I take deep breaths. I step away from my desk. It’s only 11:30am and I wondering if I can make it through the day like this. 

There’s a talk line that I call when I feel this way and sometimes they help talk me down. I might have to pay them a visit today if I’m going to make this work. 

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