This is essentially lunch today. And I slightly over medicated myself on anti anxiety meds in search of some relief which I thankfully found. Now I feel a bit off but my brain has calmed down considerably. No more racing thoughts. Just a dull and slow thought process that is so welcome right now. I’m much slower at everything I do but hey – I’ll take it considering the alternative.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta to get by.
So a few months back my general anxiety was so high that I just wasn’t eating. I drank occasional protein shakes to try and get something in my system but that was about it. That lasted for something like 7 months. I lost a lot of weight. My clothes were so baggy people at work were asking questions and concerned.
Then my psychiatrist lets me try a new medication typically meant for epilepsy but she said studies have shown it to help with anxiety. Now, 3 months later the anxiety edge is taken down a notch and I’m back to eating. But I’ve gained all the weight back. In just 3 months! Sheesh. I’m so chubby. I’d like to blame it all on side effects but I think it’s mostly me not eating right.
Also, I ate a bowl of Apple Jacks this morning and underestimated how vicious they can be to the roof of your mouth. It’s torn to shreds! Now I’m eating a sandwich and every bite is a painful reminder of how I should let them soak first before diving in. Why do they make them so dangerously crunchy?!
This morning on my way to the office I overheard another employee talking with their doctor about their anti-anxiety medication. Apparently it wasn’t working they were still having issues. I felt really bad for this person but at the same time I felt better knowing I wasn’t alone.